


My Neighbor, My Boyfriend

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, cameos by chefs, non-cannibalism AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-21
Updated: 2013-07-21
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:55:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a sequel to My Neighbor, My Friend.  Both Will and Hannibal are co-hosts of a children's show called 'Hannibal's House.'  However, their agent Clarice Starling believes that Will should play a wounded seer in a movie adaptation of a book series she wrote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Neighbor, My Boyfriend

“Is your boyfriend a vampire?” said Catherine as she covered up the hickies on Will’s neck with powder. She was one of the makeup artists for the show. 

Will laughed sheepishly and looked down. “He likes nibbling on my neck. I’ve told him not to do it so much but he keeps forgetting when . . . You know . . .”

Catherine laughed as well. “Don’t blame me if Jack complains about the rise in make-up costs.”

It had been eight months since Will started working for the show “Hannibal’s House.” Despite the pictures of Hannibal and him kissing getting out, ratings had actually risen and sales of things related to the show had grown. Meanwhile, as evidenced by marks on his neck, things between him and Hannibal had remained passionate. 

Will had suggested a few things that had come to be incorporated in the show. There was now the occasional simple mystery that he and Hannibal would solve. There was also the magical golden pendulum that could enable one to travel to the past then return to the present. 

There was a knock on the dressing room door. “Who is it?’ said Catherine.

“It’s Clarice Starling.” Clarice was an up-and-coming agent who represented both Hannibal and Will. She had also written and gotten published a trilogy of Young Adult books published about a young teenage girl named Miriam Lass. Miriam had been considered a mere sacrifice but with the help of a wounded seer, Gabriel, she defeated an evil wizard who killed maidens and made dresses of their flesh in the first book; a masked puppet master in the second, and in the third and final book, dueled with the corrupt King Krendler, who had fought her efforts every step of the way because she was not only a girl but a peasant. 

Catherine opened the door and the dark-haired woman charged in. “Why have you not returned my phone calls regarding being the wounded seer?”

“I don’t think I can do it because I already have this job,” said Will.

“I busted my hump to suggest you for this role. Most of the bean counters at the studios do not give a rat’s ass about an author’s suggestions. It’s only because my books have gone Hunger Games big that my word counts for jack squat. I know you can be Gabriel.”

“I signed a contract with Jack.”

“There’s an out,” said Clarice, triumphantly. “You want the job, it’s yours but only for a limited time. I hope Hannibal’s not stopping you.”

“He’s not stopping me. I haven’t even told him.”

“Because you know that he’d want you to take it! I know the guy, he‘s all about wanting you to reach your potential.”

“I’m happy where I am.”

“If you’re not careful, I might call some other clients who would kiss my feet for this role. I know for a fact that Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles are available.”

Jack poked in his head. “We’re about to shoot!”

“Call me,” said Clarice before she rushed out. 

***

“Hann . . .“ Will opened his eyes to find Hannibal gone from the bed. He glanced at the clock and frowned that it was only seven-thirty in the morning. It’s a Saturday. He must have gone ahead to the kitchen ahead of me. He put on boxers and a T-shirt before walking into the kitchen. His nose was tickled by the warm, sweet and spicy aroma of cinnamon buns with icing. He would’ve enjoyed the smell of them whole-heartedly except he knew that Hannibal tended to make things involving kneading when he was stressed and needed to think things through. “Those smell really good.”

Hannibal gave Will a roll on a plate before serving himself. Will picked up his fork and was about to dig in when Hannibal said, “I heard that you were offered a role in Clarice’s movie.”

“I wasn’t interested.”

“It’s a big opportunity. You should take it.”

“But the show . . .”

“The show can work around a few months’ absence.”

Will put down his fork and looked down. “Are you asking me to leave?”

“No, Will, no. But a movie adaptation of Clarice’s books is something you shouldn’t let go. To tell you the truth, if she offered me a role of that magnitude for a project of that size, I would take it.”

“You’re more talented than I am. Why didn’t she offer you the role?”

Hannibal smiled. “I look nothing like the character in the book. If it weren’t for ‘Hannibal’s House,’ I think I would be typecast as a James Bond villain.”

“I think you’re leading man material.” 

“I don’t want you to regret passing on this opportunity out of a misguided sense of loyalty. As long as I’m your leading man in real life then you going for this is what I want for you.”

Will picked up his fork and sliced through the roll. “Jack is so going to have a hissy fit.”

***

It was Defcon One in the writers’ room. 

“Crap,” said Bella. “We’re going to have to work on how to explain Will’s absence.”

“We can have someone rent out the house next door while Will is on vacation,” said Beverly.

Alana groaned. “Who do we get to work with Hannibal?”

“I’ve seen some of the other audition tapes. They were dreadful,” said Bella. She shivered at the idea of Gideon and Franklyn. 

Alana rubbed her face. “This calls for a whole bunch of red eyes,” she said, referring to a drink that was coffee with a couple shots of espresso mixed in. 

***

“Today, let us talk about loneliness,” said Hannibal as he stood in the kitchen. It had only been a week since Will had traveled to the shooting location in Northern Ireland. He had received calls and e-mails but it wasn’t the same as having him warm and next to him in bed. 

“That’s not in the script,” hissed Jack to his wife. He was still irate about Will doing a film role but Clarice rightfully pointed out that Will had an option to do so in his contract. 

“Just keep the camera rolling,” his wife hissed back.

“Sometimes, someone very dear to you goes away. And even if it’s for only a little while and it’s for a good reason, it hurts right here,” said Hannibal as he put his hand on his chest. “That pain is called loneliness. Almost everybody in the world suffers from it from time to time.

“And sometimes, you like to pretend that it doesn’t exist so you don’t have to talk about it. Because you think that by doing so, you’re burdening people and that by doing so, they will eventually leave you. But in doing so, you may be making the people you love think that you don’t care or, worse, you consider them weak when such is not your intent. 

“It is often, especially for boys and men, to prize looking strong and invulnerable. It is understandable that you cling to that image because you find it comforting and you think others should find it comforting as well. And often that is true.

“But when others open their arms wide to offer you the comfort that you have given them, accept it as you would any gift, with gratitude and joy.

“Right now I am in the mood for something simple, sweet and comforting. I will make ice cream . . .”

***

The video of his speech went viral as did pics of his unhappy face, all over Tumblr. Many fans also ate ice cream in solidarity with his loneliness. 

***

“Hello?” said Hannibal as he picked up his home phone. 

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Will, I thought you’d be too busy to call since they started shooting your scenes . . .” Hannibal leaned against a kitchen counter.

“It’s not like I’m the lead. A lot of it is hurry up and wait.”

“What time is it over there?”

“It’s nine o’clock so I think it’s four o’clock where you are?”

“Yes. I hope you’ve eaten dinner.”

“I have. They keep us fed here. Oh, I saw your speech about loneliness online.”

“Did you?”

“It’s hard to avoid. It‘s all over the place.”

“I hope I didn’t embarrass you.”

“No, I liked it. I was wondering . . .”

“What?”

“What are you wearing?”

Hannibal had to laugh at that. “Is this phone sex?”

“Maybe. I’m in my hotel room and I’m just wearing my T-shirt and shorts. What you’re wearing?”

“I am wearing a white shirt, a brown apron and black pants. I was about to make my dinner.”

“What were you going to make?”

“I was thinking of making steamed pork buns and for dessert, cream puffs.”

“You’ve got to have a vegetable dish in there.”

“I’ll make some steamed vegetables.”

“Better.”

Hannibal decided to short circuit a lecture on better eating. “How about you take off your T-shirt and shorts and lay down on the bed? I want to imagine you sprawled out, looking like a debauched Dionysus, your eyes half closed with pleasure while slowly stroking yourself off.”

***

The idea the writing team came up with was actually not a bad one. Instead of introducing a temporary co-host which would have the unintentional effect of making people resentful of the substitute and fearful of Will being replaced, they decided to write a storyline where Will went on vacation and rented his house out to three chefs who were visiting friends in town. They would take turns talking with Hannibal during his cooking segments and could introduce new and interesting friends from the area as well. 

Janice Poon was the first guest. She talked about how to plate one’s food in order to create a desired effect. She also talked about how certain markets were more likely to have certain hard-to-find items. She and Hannibal went to various specialty markets in one segment. 

Anthony Bourdain and Hannibal went around town, eating at various street food vendors and food trucks. Hannibal worried a little when Anthony seemed to be a bottomless pit for alcoholic beverages and grease. “Remember children, beer is for grownups,” said Anthony Bourdain. 

Gordon Ramsey made a steak without screaming.

Other episodes included local restaurant cooks talking about their specialties and the homeland of their cuisine like Oaxaca, Ethiopia and Peru. 

***

Hannibal was flipping through an entertainment magazine named Green Screen, looking for articles about the movie when he found an article suggesting that Will and the lead actress Georgia Madchen may be becoming more than friends. 

Later that night, Hannibal called Will. 

“Hello,” said Will.

“It appears that you are now truly famous. You have been linked to your co-star in an entertainment magazine.”

He could hear Will sigh. “I’m sorry but I think it’s just the publicity machine trying to ramp up the already insane amount of interest in the movie by creating the illusion of an on-set romance. Neither Georgia nor I wanted this.”

“I believe you. It’s just that I expect a lot of noise regarding this.” He already knew that there was quite the kerfuffle online with most people dismissing it out of hand as a studio stunt, a few having meltdowns and a few shipping Will and Georgia. “I’ve already had a few people run up to me and tearfully tell me that I deserve better than a cheating weasel.”

Will groaned. “Oh God.”

“Do not worry. I told them that that if they truly cared about my feelings, they would not put any stock in idle gossip and say these things to me.”

“I imagine that things will only get worse when I have to do promotion for the movie once it’s completed.”

“I’ve heard that Clarice is considering writing a prequel novel about your character and how he was wounded by a red dragon.”

“Yes.” 

“Looks like things are going very well for you.”

“I’m only signed for the trilogy. I won’t do that one unless you’re part of the movie, too. I wish you were here.”

“I miss you, too.“

“Tell me how much you miss me, Hannibal.“

“I miss the tenderness of your lips, the warmth of your skin, the taste of the sweat of your neck, the tease of your teeth on my shoulders, the way the bed bends as you slip your way in between the sheets. I long for the tangle our limbs make, the sound of your laugh, the way your eyes look upon me and make me feel hotter than any pepper could. That’s how much I miss you.”

“God, Hannibal.”

***

Two days later, an edible bouquet showed up at the set for Hannibal. It was made out of pineapple, melon and other fruits. There was a card from Will that said, “I’m sorry that there seems to be abundance of straight rumors about me. When I come back, I will show you how unsubstantiated those rumors are. Love, Will. P.S. Sadly, the company did not have a meat bouquet option.”

Beverly sighed, “If only I had a boyfriend who would do that for me.” 

“Prove he’s gay?” said Jimmy.

Beverly poked him in the ribs with her elbow. 

“Have some. I can not eat it all myself,” said Hannibal. 

“Oh, pineapple!” said Bella.

The shooting crew made short work of the bouquet.

***

Jack and Bella were in bed. Jack was thinking as Bella was reading a book of poetry. “Bella?”

“Yes, Jack.”

“You know I love you, right?”

“I know. Why?’

“I guess I don’t say it enough. I’m not all poetic.” He blamed Hannibal and Will a little for continually lifting the bar when it came to romance. 

“You do call me Bella instead of Phyllis. There’s that,” she said as she squeezed his arm. “There’s a bit of poetry in you.”

“And you are still Bella.”

“Flatter me some more.”

“Not flattery, it’s the truth. You‘re beautiful then, now and far, far into the future.” He kissed her on the lips. 

“I’m holding you to that, you silver-tongued wordsmith.”

Jack laughed.

***

“Someone is knocking at my door,” said Hannibal. Will had just flown in three days before and he had spent much of those days sleeping off the jet lag and reading the script for this episode. There should have been two weeks break between the last day of shooting and the first episode of ‘Hannibal’s House’ he was scheduled to do. However, there had been some last minute re-shoots that had kept him longer than anticipated and thus kept him from coming home any earlier. 

Hannibal opened the door. “It’s Will.” They hugged each other, a full body with arms wrapped around each other tightly hug, for a long time before stepping away. The expressions on their face bordered on the giddy. “How was your trip?”

“I enjoyed it but I’m so glad to be home.” 

“As am I. Since I knew you were coming back today, I have to tell you something. Please sit down.”

“Sure.” Will sat down. 

“Will, I don’t want you to be my neighbor nor my friend . . .” Hannibal got down on his knees and took out a small jewelry box from his pocket and opened it to show a beautiful platinum ring. “I want you to be my husband. What do you say, Will?”

Will took a few seconds to absorb what Hannibal said and what the ring meant and he said, “Yes!” 

Hannibal took the ring and slipped it on Will’s left ring finger, then holding both of Will’s hands in both of his, pulled him to a standing position and kissed him. They embraced each other tightly. Finally, Hannibal swept Will off his feet, carried Will off in his arms and strode off the set with him.

Ten minutes had passed and they hadn’t returned. 

“They’re not coming back today, are they?” said Jack. 

“I seriously doubt it.” said Bella. 

Jack slapped his forehead with his hand and groaned. “ Beverly, Jimmy, Brian. We’re shooting your stuff first.”

*** 

When news of their engagement got out, #HannigramHusbands crashed Twitter before becoming its number one trend in the United States for five hours straight while ending up in the top ten in markets like Korea. As for Tumblr, the website basically vomited rainbows and gold rings for days. 

The End


End file.
